Photo: Margaret Norton/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images
December 23 is traditionally the day that the non-commercial holiday of Festivus is celebrated across the world. The high holiday includes a Festivus dinner, an unadorned aluminum Festivus pole, practices such as the “airing of grievances” and “feats of strength,” and the labeling of easily explainable events as “Festivus miracles.”
We will begin our celebration of the holiday with the Airing of Grievances. And even though the Capitals have a winning record and are technically in playoff position, there are grievances to air. [Note: This year’s edition is slightly, but the Washington Capitals must address these grievances to achieve their objectives.]
Without further ado, here are the grievances related to the Washington Capitals:
The Pitiful Pathetic Putrid Powerless Power Play
Over the last several years, the Capitals’ power play had been on a downward spiral. One typical culprit for fans to blame was Coach Blaine Forsythe. But even with a different coach running the power play, Kirk Muller, the Capitals’ power play had still been ineffective for much of this season. Until their two most recent games (December 20 against the New York Islanders and December 21 against the Columbus Blue Jackets) featured game-winning power-play goals in overtime, they had scored just eight power-play goals. They hovered under 10% in power-play percentage. They were on track for setting the NHL record for the worst power play ever, which would have been worse than the Tampa Bay Lightning of 1997-98, who were then a perennial cellar dweller. Their power play percentage was even worse than the 1974-75 Capitals, who had posted the worst record in NHL history in their first year of existence.
With three power-play goals in two games, they now have 11 power-play goals and rank 28th in the league for power-play percentage, which is still bad, but at least it won’t set the record for futility.
Offensively Bad Offense
The Capitals rank 31st in goals for, only ahead of the San Jose Sharks, and 30th in goals per game, only ahead of the Chicago Blackhawks and San Jose Sharks. Note: the Blackhawks and the Sharks rank rock bottom in their divisions and are the worst teams in the NHL. This is NOT the company you wish to keep. They also rank 28th in shots, with 8.7%.
Having offense this poor is not a recipe for success and generally requires goaltending at the level of Dominick Hasek in his prime to win consistently. (For you young kids, Dominick Hasek had multiple seasons like Igor Shesterkin compiled in 2021-22).
To highlight the Capitals’ lack of offense, the leading goal scorer on the team, Dylan Strome, has thirteen goals, which is tied for 31st in the league. Auston Matthews, who leads the league, has twice as many. The Capitals leader in assists, John Carlson, is tied for 36th. Meanwhile, not a single Capitals player ranks among the top 100 players in the league for total points.
Photo: John McCreary/NHLI via Getty Images
Great Wait For Alex Ovechkin Goals
Goals by Alex Ovechkin have been very sparse this season. He has only six goals and ended a career-long drought of 14 games. We all know he is 38 years old and getting older, but nobody expected such a steep decline in productivity. For God’s sake, Joe Pavelski, a year older than him, already has 13 goals. Historically, Ovechkin has outscored Pavelski nearly every season of their respective careers.
Photo: CBS Sports
Analysts have tried to figure out what’s wrong. Ovechkin’s shot has not gotten significantly slower or less hard. The thought is that he misses Nicklas Backstrom, who stepped away from the game earlier this season or is still mourning his father, who died in February. He appears to have had opportunities but has had several goals overturned after reviews and has had shots hitting posts and crossbars. His shooting percentage is at an all-time career low of 5.2%, even after his recent overtime game-winning goal. His average career shooting percentage is 12.8%, and in recent years, he’s typically shot between 13 and 16%.
We had started to wonder if Baba Yaga had put a curse on him to prevent him from scoring goals this season. Okay, Baba Yaga, it’s time to lift that curse now. (Author’s note: given that he broke his scoring drought with a game-winning overtime goal, maybe the curse has already been lifted.)
Young Defensemen Blocked
Nearly every off-season, the Capitals acquire a veteran defenseman who gets the inside track to play on the third pairing. This year’s version is Joel Edmundson. Are our left-handed defenseman prospects Lucas Johansen (just sent to Hershey), Hardy Haman Aktell (now in Hershey), and Alex Alexeyev just so bad that any veteran is an improvement? Yes, Johansen and Alexeyev both had their careers set back by injuries. But at some point, we need to see what the kids have and decide from there instead of always signing veterans, which blocks the kids from ever playing. Yes, there are virtues in having young players earn their position as opposed to handing it to them. But, if the kids are found wanting, third-pairing defensemen are always available at the trade deadline.
Photo: John McDonnell/The Washington Post
Dearth of Draft Picks From 2013-2017
Players aged 24 through 29 are generally expected to be core players for NHL teams. This would be players with experience but not on the “wrong” side of 30. Those players would currently be the ones who were drafted in the NHL Drafts from 2013 through 2017. However, the Washington Capitals have just one player on their roster who was drafted throughout that time frame – Beck Malenstyn. To make it even worse, during the drafts during those years, they had left David Pastrnak, Brock Boeser, and Alex DeBrincat on the board when selecting their first-round picks. Just think of the offensive boost any of those players could have provided the Capitals.
To be fair, the Capitals acquired two players in their current lineup, Nic Jensen and Anthony Mantha, for Capitals’ draftees from between 2013 and 2017. Also, to be fair, the Caps had signed two other players in free agency who are currently in the Capitals lineup, Dylan Strome and Sonny Milano, whom other teams had drafted during 2013-17.
Shootout Struggles
The Capitals have only two competent shootout players on their roster, Evgeny Kuznetsov and T.J. Oshie. If one of them is out, they are toast in shootouts unless their goaltender manages to stop every shooter the opposition uses. Okay, in reality, the Caps are 3-3 in shootouts. But they lack depth for shootout shooters. Even their best goal scorers (Dylan Strome, Tom Wilson, and Anthony Mantha) cannot score in shootouts. Maybe it’s time to consider giving some younger players an audition when the next shootout occurs.
Potential Move to Potomac Yards
The proposed team location is more convenient – provided you live in Alexandria, Springfield, or other points along the I-95 or Route 1 corridor. But it’s not so great for fans who live anywhere else. Less convenient for fans in DC. It’s way less convenient for fans in Maryland –unless they live close to the Woodrow Wilson Bridge. Meanwhile, most Virginia fans who take the Metro to the game travel via either the Orange Line or the Silver Line and would then have to transfer to the Blue Line. Generally, the team should be centrally located, as in the District of Columbia. Has anybody studied the attendance history of the Arizona Coyotes or the Florida Panthers on what happens when a team is not in a relatively central location? For that matter, when even studying the history of the Capitals, note how much better attendance was when in DC as opposed to being in Landover, Maryland.
Chasing Game Coverage
For fans who are not local and/or have given up cable television, it is difficult to watch every game without subscribing to multiple subscription services, including Monumental, ESPN Roku, NHL, etc; before you know it, the cost of these services may eventually be more than a subscription to a cable service.
These Cursed Injuries
Nicklas Backstrom has stepped away from the team since his hip resurfacing surgery did not have enough of a positive impact on his performance. He is unlikely ever to play again. His absence as a man and the lack of his sweet saucer passes is being keenly felt.
T.J. Oshie is injured — again. Every time you turn around, it seems that Oshie gets injured again. He came back once this season but got injured again not long afterward.
Related Reading
Capitals Festus — Airing of Grievances — December 23, 2022 Edition
Festivus – Airing of Grievances – December 23, 2021 Edition
By Diane Doyle