With news coming out this week that uniform advertising is likely soon coming to the NHL, we wondered what ads might look like if each uniform ad was targeted per specific player. We take a tongue-in-cheek look at the Capitals roster to predict appropriate sponsorship matches for each Washington player.
Nicklas Backstrom: Johnnie Walker Blue Label Scotch Whisky. Like Backstrom, it is smooth and aged to perfection.
Nic Dowd: Rock band Lynyrd Skynyrd. Dowd is only the third NHL player to hail from Sweet Home Alabama.
Lars Eller: Hanna-Barbera’s Scooby Doo. A Great Dane for a great Dane.
Carl Hagelin: Roomba Robot Vacuum. Roombas scurry all over, but you’re never quite sure if they are accomplishing anything.
Garnet Hathaway: 3M Sandpaper. Adjustable grit level designed to rub opponents the wrong way.
Evgeny Kuznetsov: Pepsi.
Anthony Mantha: D.C. Lottery. Mantha hit the jackpot by trading in his Wings for a Washington sweater.
T.J. Oshie: Pepco. Oshie has done much of his best work this season on the “power” play.
Alex Ovechkin: Staples. He spends a lot of time in his “office.”
Conor Sheary: Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream. Pint-sized, but awesome.
Daniel Sprong: Jimmy John’s. Like the sandwich shop, Sprong doesn’t need many minutes to deliver.
Tom Wilson: Publisher’s Clearinghouse. Top Line Tom is always delivering the big checks.
John Carlson: Yellow Caution Tape. Lately, Carlson has been standing about six feet from where bad things have just occurred.
Zdeno Chara: Jurassic World Dominion. Like the creatures in the upcoming film, this dinosaur has found new life.
Brenden Dillon: Chloraseptic Sore Throat Lozenges. Fans have made themselves hoarse shouting at their televisions every time Dillon wanders out of position.
Nick Jensen: Metro. Fewer fires this year!
Justin Schultz: Toyota Prius. Quiet, steady, reliable.
Dmitry Orlov: Pepperidge Farm. Also mostly famous for their turnovers.
Trevor van Riemsdyk: Celestron Telescopes. Trevor is forced to watch all the action from far away.
Craig Anderson: The F.B.I. You’ll not find a better ad for the Witness Protection Program. (Now that Jonas Siegenthaler is gone.)
Ilya Samsonov: Sherp ATVs. Because, duh.
Vitek Vanacek: Vans shoes. Vitek Vans-acek hopes opponents’ shots bounce Off The (brick) Wall.
What do you think? Let us know your favorites and add your own!
By Brian Haley